What does it say about you?

Every human is an individual, a universe unto itself: ever-changing and expanding. Why do I always forget that? Why do I hold them in contempt, simply because they're taciturn and thus have less to say about themselves? Why, especially when I'm like that myself, when I know that it is this type of people who yearn more than anything to connect?

Even at this age I still have a lot to learn.

Journalism-- a silly craft

I like(d) to write and I was so excited when I got into a communications school and majored in journalism. I was going to be a journalist--a respectable, professional, and more importantly, an intellectually stimulating career.

Now, a few years on, I look back and I wonder and I know I don't feel the same about it anymore. During my second year, we were asked to read readings that debate whether journalist can be considered a "professional". The consensus seems to be that it wasn't. Lawyers, architects, engineers are; journalists aren't. You do not need specialist knowledge; you don't really even need an university degree.

That's not the main point. The whole debate seems lame and self-indulgent. That I won't be considered a professional didn't bother me much--after all, journalists are well respected in my country, and unusually, they are well paid too. (I know, because I've processed the tax returns of a mid-level newsperson once, when I was temping for the tax department) They are seen as brainy people. I want to be seen as being an intellectual.

Journalist wannabes are the wannabes of wannabes, if you ask me, right down there with inspiring actors/singers--they are all just as egotistical.

They all think they have depth; they can write; their prose affect and mobilise people; they can change the world with their scribblings.

After 4 years of journalism school and of scrutinising the local papers, I don't know what to think. I think that journalists do not write the truth; they sensationalise the truth. Editors and lecturers are always exhorting about news values: why would readers want to read or know about this? What would catch their attention? Why is this story worth publishing? What new angles can be purported?

So we, as journalism students, with the commendable aims of trying to outdo each other and to get as good a grade as possible, wrung every drop of juicy bits we could out of the news. We're not lying, but.

I've even committed the ultimate journalism sin of making up a quote because I was not able to get what I wanted from the interview subjects.

In a small, safe country like ours, with so many people chasing after so little news, it's hard. I get sceptical, I can detect when a journalist is trying to make something out of nothing--it's just a waste of the reader's time and the newsprint. It's not respectable anymore, is it? It's not even intellectually stimulating, is it? It's just silly. And some of them, they are not even truthful about what they're trying to say (I'm talking about politics here). They sway readers not with objective facts but with innuendos, connotations, embedding them in the text with carefully chosen words that are not neutral. That's sneaky.

Time travelling?

You know what unnerves me alot during travelling? Especially to places that are in a different time zone from the place I live? It's the feeling that I've lost time.

I've been to Australia and Japan which are in time zones that are ahead of my country's. When I'm there, I keep thinking to myself: It's already 8 pm over here and the sky is dark. Yet my friends are over there, basking in the soft sunlight of 6 pm. What are they doing? How are they spending their "extra" time? Are they going to have their dinner soon? Would I be missing out on something because of the "lost" time?

Weird things to be thinking about, but that's how I am when I'm away in another country -- tightly wound up and worried.

Sand between my toes

Had my appraisal with my supervisor yesterday and it went quite well. She said that she'll write a good appraisal report of me so that I can get a raise, but she and I know that the raise will not be much.

But it'll be useful; I want to learn so many things! Baking, driving, and more.

I'm now in a relaxed state of mind and wish that I'm at some secluded beach resort, in a chalet built on stilts over the sea so that you can just step out of the chalet and jump into the clear blue water! Cool!

Wide Expanse

This morning, the 1st day of work, I was dreading it. When I went to the office, I admired my new Snoopy desk calendar and schedule and was glad for a while. But I just didn't want to start work: Proofreading stuff and uploading job ads on the portal.

I feel like I want to be anywhere but here. I didn't feel like this previously. I like my office mates and thought that my office was spacious yet cosy. Now I feel like I'm being cooped up in a fishbowl that's too small for me. I want wide expanse. Sunshine. Fresh air. Blue sky.