That's what the current president said when asked if he'd be emotional about the last national day parade he would preside over.
I think that's how my father thinks of his life as well. Depending on which doctor you ask, he has less than a year (without chemotherapy) or at least 5 to 10 more years left. The more optimistic one advised him to carry on with his life as usual and fight it as you would with any other disease.
The uncertainty of it all has been draining. From whether it really is cancer, to whether operation is possible, to how advanced it is, everything has been a question mark.
Everyone in the family feels down and some are already showing signs of stress--there's been a couple of outbursts this week. My eldest sister told me that she HATES going to the doctors with my father because she has to mentally prepare herself for the diagnosis every time and has to recount the details to me and my sister later.
I feel like a bit of a wreck too. I would have sudden urges to cry in public places, like on the MRT. Often, I feel like just curling up to sleep.
My father seems to be the calmest of us all. He kept saying that he has already lived to a ripe old age and everyone has to go some time. Now he just wants to make sure he has everything in order. A chat with him and my siblings on Friday calmed me down somewhat. Hopefully when I'm old I would be as serene as him about death and dying. Worrying is so tiring. I have to get moving again. We all have to carry on and live as best as we could, even if the time is short.
