Notes after a busy work week

If I haven't been blogging as much as I used to, it's because I've recently been snowed under by lots of deadlines that I'm trying to clear so that I can get away for a week in June.

Also, we've had a new member on our team recently, and what's more, my manager assigned her to sit next to me (thanks, manager). You know how newcomers are: eager to please, and super-hardworking. Her coming reminded me of my own initial, heady weeks at the workplace. Everything that was assigned to me, I gave the utmost attention and totally inapproriate proportion of effort. And then, of course, the enthusiasim wore off and degenerated into ennui and weariness.

When I used to blog and nap in my office like nobody's business (I mean it: when I nap, I would take another chair and put my legs on it, because as I've explained to an amused colleague, I cannot nap properly when my legs are not up), I now have to work and slog to keep up and erm, not to lose face?

Because she made me hark back to those good old days, I also cannot help but think about my entire stay here and, inevitably, when I'm going to leave. I'm afraid that I've not really made use of every opportunity here to learn and improve, simply because of the sheer amount of work. Most of my energy is spent just trying to clear as much as possible.

And when you focus on quantity, something is lost; not just quality, but also your passion for your work. And when that happens, you start to moan about why you spent so many years in university and end up in the wrong field anyway.

And I often dread those working discussions with the senior people, because they do most of the talking, and we end up with the most work. I often write the meeting minutes and when a colleague mentioned that the senior people like to have a column "Action to be taken by" for their directives, I retorted that it's redundant because the names would always be the same.

Of course you can say those senior people used to be junior staff who were also at the mercy of others, but when 1 of them tells you that a project you're working on is problematic because it's being handled by women and yet at the same time has a habit of putting his hand on your shoulder or arm and peeks at your notebook openly, you sometimes can't help but rant.

I'm trying to fight off the work fatigue, as many young working adults are. I just feel like I need to take a break to detox and flush away the toxic stress. Away from the email distractions and deadlines, I think I'll be able to better remember that essentially, I still want to work in this line.