Saying goodbye

I had been in a stupor all weekend, feeling exhausted both in spirit and body. On my last day, I was still mired in work at 8.30pm, desperately trying to archive my emails properly for the new PE taking over my journals, while a group of colleagues and ex-colleagues waited for me. We were supposed to have a farewell dinner outside but because I couldn't leave on time they had to order in pizza to eat in the pantry. I had initially thought it's kinda sad to have dinner in the office on my last day, but I'm actually thankful that they accompanied me through to the end, so that i didn't have to be the last person to leave the office by my lonesome self. 


I don't really like being the centre of attention but for some reason, my farewells usually turn out to be too big for my liking. I used to feel very uncomfortable, even somewhat frustrated that those closest to me would want to push me into the limelight when they should know better. I know now that they do this to me simply because they want me to know that I'm "dearly loved". I'm very privileged, my department head said to me, and I agree with her. 


For the send-off, 3 guy colleagues performed the song "Forget You" that I had jokingly requested for a few weeks ago. One played the guitar, another the harmonica while the 3rd sang in the training room for my team and I. The singer told me they had rehearsed 6 times for this. We stayed around and sang and took photos. 


For reasons that I won't go into here, this has been a very emotional farewell for me. There was a low period in my life last year when I felt that I had not made a single genuine friend in this place. But I know now that there has never been a place where I had been surrounded by so many like-minded friends who wish me well. I find it so hard to say goodbye, but yet it was the leaving that made me realise how good they've been to me. I've said goodbye to the place, but not the friends I'll have even as I move on.