Tea is for pansies

Tea is for pansies

fit only for babies

my drink of choice is coffee

which makes me go "yipee!"

but since I've tried to quit

I feel like a dimwit

I can't even copyedit

and life feels like a super-sized zit

Red, sore, angry

and not at all lovely

the work I've done this week is less

than what I dare to confess

when normally I'm such a slog

now I only write incoherent blogs

I'm so caught up in the agonising throes

I feel ready to bite my twitching toes

If I can just taste a cappucino I can get past any obstacle

except the snub by the all-knowing Starbucks Oracle

who actually calls me a snobbish asshat

when I think it's a stupid old dingbat

Starbucks is establishment

only losers heed its judgement

I just want back the good ol' coffee

so that life will once again agree

even if it makes me wanna pee

I'll just yell "whoopee!"