4 Mar 2006

Black list of names

I'm back! I said I needed peace and quiet, but you can never keep me down. To cheer myself up, I'm going to list female names that I would never call myself by:

1) Yolanda -- sounds like (a) a female version of Yoda and (b) a stout, freckled, repressed Swiss farm girl yodelling from some high mountains overgrown with the kind of herbs that goes into Ricola candy

2) Hannah/Mandy/Gina-- sounds like somebody's repressed nanny who has too much milk

3) Pauline -- sounds like sombody's repressed (OK, I'm joking) mum and female version of Paul, which in turns sounds like somebody who has greasy, slicked-back hair, salon tan, and a thick gold chain with unbuttoned shirt to show off hairy chest

4) Mary/Regina/Jane/Shirley/Bridget/Alice/Josephine-- sounds like somebody's eccentric and erm, repressed aunt who smothers you with hugs and pinches your cheek like, well, clothes pegs

5) Emily/Margaret/Joanne--reminds me of those repressed governesses in English novels. Possibly homicidal.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your Grandma's name is Pauline... you are so rude...

june said...

Err..., I meant Paulette. That's it, Paulette!