Often, I wonder, if staying silent is the best option when someone is venting frustrations or pouring out sorrows to me. Do they simply need a person who listens, or someone who can comfort them? I would panic inside. What would I say? Most of the time, all I could do to show I empathise is by frowning and making sympathetic noises.
I worry that I would say something insensitive, or superficial, or condescending. Would "I understand how you feel, I've been there, too" be condescending? If someone says that to me, I wouldn't be offended at all; I think I would feel grateful. (Then again, I might shoot the person a "piss off!" look, depending on my mood)
But would another person think that I'm making too many assumptions by thinking that I know exactly what she's going through? Problems are troublesome, but yet people seem to adopt a proprietary attitude towards them. This is my problem here, that person may fume, why is she making this sound like her problem?
But sometimes I just feel like I should say something. "I know you are feeling down, but you're not alone." Is that the best way to comfort someone? I can't tell. That person may just snap, "Sod off, you stupid prig. I want to be left alone!"
1 comment:
Yes you should just. You think too much. Just be there and listen and your friend will appreciate it.
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